I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
