Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize