I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
