i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
