we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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