3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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