This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
