What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
