Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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