"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
