I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.