This girl is more easily done than said...
too bad you live with your parents still
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Are my feet made of real feet?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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