Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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