No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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