My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize