alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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