Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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