Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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