There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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