beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
