Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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