I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
