She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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