She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
