I seem to have left my pride at pride
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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