Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize