Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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