at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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