ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
