Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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