You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize