Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
