i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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