Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she pinky promised me she was 18
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
