I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
