did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
