Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
