I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
