He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How naked do you want me to be?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
