he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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