I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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