Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was so not down for the gang bang
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
