I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
