We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
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so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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