Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
