I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize