Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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