Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.