Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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