your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
