wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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