Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
