We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am spending my child support on dildos
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
