from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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