I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
