You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
