i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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