Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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