My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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