i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
