Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's just like the Real World with babies
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
