that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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