Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
