I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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